Complimentary Story
February 2026 Self care; self affirmation; self confidence; self love.
At first glance, these phrases seem to be positive, good; something to be focused on and attained.
Our culture has certainly presented them enough to us that they sound familiar and comfortable. There is a self-love movement going on in our culture right now that unabashedly promotes its agenda. The self love movement claims that their agenda must be promoted because there is a lack of self love in our society today (www.theself-lovemovement.com). “Self-Love is the act of putting your own happiness and well-being first, something that is lacking within our current society.” — Alana Arvanitis (theself-lovemovement.com).
Friends, I don’t think we really need to look very far to realize the lack of truth in this statement — Facebook, Instagram, the “selfie” — all these give ample evidence that we are lovers of ourselves to a much greater degree than any prior generation.
What about these phrases? Self loathing; self pity; self mutilation; selfishness; self-centeredness.
Our gut reaction to these phrases is much different. We recognize something negative and uncomfortable in each of these phrases. And yet, in both lists of phrases there is a great commonality... self.
The idol of self has fought to be god in our lives since before our lives were ours to live. Satan idolized himself before his fall, thinking a beauty and honor greater than that of God Himself to be something attainable. Adam and eve idolized self in the garden, thinking their wisdom to be greater than that given to them by God. And here we are again today...in the midst of a culture that puts a pretty package on a whole list of “self” phrases...gently steering us, as is Satan’s way, away from the true God; coaxing us to look away from our Creator and His perfect plan to love Him and to love others; and wooing us to think of ourselves and affirm our own plans for our mornings, our days, and our lives.
The self-love agenda, friends, comes straight from the bowels of hell. I say this not to hurt anyone’s feelings or to cause anyone to feel badly about themselves; but hopefully to rescue a few who have wandered off on this wide and broad path that leads to destruction. Like most things that Satan sends our way, this message doesn’t ride in on a big red demon; but rather, subtly maneuvers its way into our thinking. There it finds a comfortable place to rest in a partial truth that we hold onto, or a seemingly innocent lie that we don’t realize we are believing.
When I say that self-love is an agenda from the bowels of hell what do I mean? The bowels in ancient times and in biblical times were considered to be the place where emotions lived. The bowels of hell are Satan’s emotions and Satan’s desires. What does he desire? He desires that we would love ourselves. Why? Because when we love ourselves it is in direct competition to the call of love that God has on our life. God most certainly calls us to love, but the heart of God is for us to love him and to love others.
When you turn from the deceptive path of self love to the plumb line of God’s Truth; I think you will find that there is a love much greater than self-love to be attained; and also that self-love is not a first step to achieving this greater love.
If you asked the world to define the opposite of self-love, you might hear self-hate or self-condemnation. If these mindsets truly lay in opposition to the love of self, then it would be a travesty to abort our self-love agendas, risking a turn toward an even unhealthier agenda. However, if we ask God what the opposite of self love is; He will tell us...love of others. It is not the word “love” in self love that needs to go, but rather the word “self.” The opposite of self is others. Therefore, the opposite of loving self is loving others.
Now again I go to God’s definition and His Word on this subject. Loving others is a command to those who call themselves Believers. (Matthew 22:37-39).
How can our loving God command such a difficult thing? For we certainly all know that loving others is not an easy or risk-free task. It is bound to be hard and hurtful and tiresome. The reason that God can command us because He has given us His very love to share with others. He is quite simply asking us to give away a resource, precious in its character, that He gave to us to be given away. It is not a love of ourselves that we must first have in order to love others, but a love of God. And this love is also a gift from God to us. We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19 New International Version). It is the love God gives us – how He views us – that is truly a resource that can be poured out liberally to all those “others” around us. We are able to love others because God first gives us a real love with which to love them.
At the core of who I am is a person who was created to be loved by God and also to love God and love others.
So we go back to the question we started with - “Should I love myself?” The Bible doesn’t directly answer this question, although it speaks volumes on what love is, where it comes from, and who we should love. Why doesn’t the Bible tell us explicitly to love ourselves? Perhaps because God knew that loving ourselves comes very naturally to each of us. We don’t need to be challenged or reminded to care for our own needs. Biblically it should not be the primary thing we are pursuing. The Bible doesn’t say that we shouldn’t care for ourselves; however, it does say that we should look to the interests of others and to those of Christ. (Phillipians 2:3-4 New International Version). “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Phillipians 2:21 New International Version). For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.
We should not love ourselves more than we love others or love God. Now let’s go back to the quote from Alana Arvanitis “Self-Love is the act of putting your own happiness and well-being first, something that is lacking within our current society.” This quote may sound like an innocent encouragement for someone to simply make more “me time'” in their life. But Brothers and Sisters, is this not in direct conflict with the mandates we just read in Scripture? To put the happiness and well-being of others before my own? To put the interests of Christ before my own? It is not wrong to make time for myself, to look after my own needs and desires, or even to love myself; unless doing those things keeps me from first and foremost loving God and loving others.
(2 Timothy 3:1-2a New International Version), “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves...”
So what shall we say in response to this, friends? (Matthew 22:37-39 New International Version) Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Simple, selfless, others-focused; and God-empowered. Now let’s get out there and love someone...someone besides ourselves!
Chris McMahan
Email: Happy1970@icloud.com
