“Calm down,” my wife calls from the other room. “You sound angry and you’re yelling!” Yep! I’m fighting mad over the confusion surrounding gender identity and I have to work through all this before I ever speak in public. I usually talk out loud, as I rehearse messages, and my wife hears all the un-edited versions. Qualifications for saint hood, I believe. Truthfully, I must overcome my anger so I can give accurate, Biblical and scientific information in a calm demeanor. As this article unfolds, I hope you understand the reasons for my anger.
I had my own battle with gender identity, that I rarely mention and have never written about. I am currently researching the issue, for a church I have been invited to speak at and present before my own church elders and pastor. I am writing to my readers in WCN to also inform you what I know and learn about gender identity. Why? 50% of all people know someone questioning their gender and/or considering sexual reassignment surgery. Increasingly, they are young teen girls, numbering in the hundreds of thousands. I ask you, as I asked an elder, “What answer do we give and how are we training church members to give answers to those questioning their gender identity?” His answer: “good question.” I think most people would answer the same way.
If you ask gender identity questions on the internet, listen to public media, politicians, and much of the general population, you will get propaganda, misinformation and blatant lies. There is absolutely nothing about the transgender movement or its supporters that is based in any kind of science. We, the followers of Jesus Christ, need to get this right or we will lose a generation of youths’ good health and their ability to reproduce children of their own, in exchange for the LGBTQ special interest agenda, political correctness, increasing the wealth of some very unethical doctors and the wealth of pharmaceutical companies.
People who have read my book, followed my articles or have heard me speak, know that I was sexually assaulted by a man when I was about 9 years old. The same year I was handed a stack of pornography by older boys to keep me busy while they went off to do something. It worked, it kept me busy for 28 years. But there were also other things going on, in my young life, that I rarely have mentioned and have never written about. All adding to the confusion I had and the roots fueling my 28-year sexual addiction.
Affirmation, as a male, was hard to come by growing up. I always assumed I was “supposed to be a girl.” I would not get male affirmation from a parent until I was 50 years old. My mother desired and totally expected a girl, while in her third pregnancy. She already had two boys, both given very masculine names. My prebirth name was “Lynnea.” After viewing male body parts, disappointed, my name was shortened to Lynn. As a youngster, I remember twirling around in dresses and female clothing and receiving affirmation from my mom. As I got older, I felt shame about the cross dressing and hid that desire. Another battle, in my mind, was the question of why would a man want to have sex with me? What was I? Was I really supposed to be a girl? Was I a birth defect? I had one more same sex encounter in my youth that, again, put me into a deep loathing of myself. The questions of who or what I was, continued to haunted me. I pushed harder into viewing heterosexual porn, looked for promiscuous girls and pursued excelling in junior and senior high school sports: baseball, track, football, wrestling and basketball. In college it was tennis. Coaches affirmed my masculinity, so I played hard for them. In many sports I was a four-year letterman. How many matches or games in 10 years of organized sports do you think my parents attended? Answer = 0. For many years I tried to prove to others and to myself that I was a man, but very easily, my self-image could be shattered and I would retreat into self-loathing and shame.
Do not think, for one heart beat that my story is unique or rare. That is why I feel compelled to write about this issue. I personally know the stories of many men and women in recovery from sexual addiction. I have read the stories of many more. I have yet to meet someone struggling and confused about sexuality that wasn’t abused or introduced to sex at too young of an age.
Those who know the rest of my story know that replacing my sexual idolatry with the One True God, Jesus, and many years of counseling and Scripture memory, brought healing to my childhood traumas and replaced all of the lies and the destructive teaching of porn that had filled my mind and core belief system.
Part of my early recovery treatment required me to do family of origin interviews. My parents became fully aware of all my childhood traumas and my recovery from sexual addiction. I became aware that I wasn’t sexually assaulted, as a young boy, rather I was raped and was likely being recruited by a homosexual. For 11 years, I was 100% dedicated to recovery, going to weekly meetings and monthly counseling sessions. My, then wife, didn’t like the new man emerging and would not participate in counseling, and eventually we went through divorce.
I ran a marathon to raise money for leukemia/lymphoma research and rode a horse in a 30-mile endurance race. The year of training and events were positive ways to stay “sober” during a difficult time. I turned 50 around this time and I called my mother, who was in a nursing home about a 3-hour drive from my home. I said, “Hi mom, it’s your baby, Lynn.” There was a moment of silence and she said, “Oh, I don’t call him my baby anymore, he has proven himself to be a man.” It’s been 18 years since she told me those affirming words and they still bring tears to my eyes. Many young people of today get little, if any, affirmation at home and some also suffer that from peers. My mother had finally affirmed my maleness, but God already had been hard at work concerning that, through my recovery. Biblically, God knew me before I was in my mother’s womb, (Jeremiah 1:5). He created me, a man, in His image. (Genesis 1: 27). He only creates male and female human beings in His image. He created my inmost being while in my mother’s womb. (Psalm 139: 13). Scientifically, not only my biological appearance is male, but my chromosomes and every gene in my body is male. The same is true for every human being.
Today, I could not be more happy, pleased and thankful that I am a man. Sometimes that may take a process, but one worth waiting for.
Let’s take the hidden story part, of my childhood, and move it into today’s world. For many years, and currently, pornography teaches, endorses and promotes “anything goes.” Gay, Lesbian, bisexual, transsexual and transvestite sex. Sex with family members, neighbors, children and animals. Violent, impersonal, abusive, destructive and anything, absolutely anything goes sex acts. Children, on average, by age 9 are exposed to porn and by high school 97% of boys, 80% of girls are looking at porn. 28% of teen boys and 8% of girls say that they are addicted, they can’t stop. (Enough.org). These young people have no concept of what would be healthy sex or sexuality. Add the sexual abuse they may have experienced to this and the fear that girls have after viewing the violence against females in porn and it is no wonder, they may not want to be a female and why some boys don’t want to be boys.
Questioning one’s gender or maleness or femaleness is very normal prior to and around puberty, 12-14 years old. Left alone, it is a scientific fact that most all no longer question their gender identity after puberty or by late teens. However, today we have a war going on for our young people. Read “The Homosexual Manifesto,” available on line, and if you are not a LGBTQ activist you will be horrified. The goal is to sodomize all of our children. I was only one of the victims. The LGBTQ activists are well organized, and well-funded, any on line inquiry as to gender confusion, is flagged, and will get their undivided attention.
I personally know a young home-schooled girl, of profoundly dedicated Christian parents. While doing her on-line homework, secretly, connected with two lesbians from the organized LGBTQ online community and became, firmly, in their grasp. Shortly after high school graduation she left her family, was on male hormones, had a mastectomy and is on track for the complete reassignment surgery. Her family is shattered. The transgender activists have innumerable victims. Also among the supporters of the transgender movement was the Obama administration, the current White House occupier and much of the public education system.
The suggestion that someone wanting to surgically alter their body to a different gender, needs to go through counseling first, to help with their confusion, is greatly detested by the LGBTQ community and their big media supporters. Time calls transgender rights “America’s next civil rights frontier.” The New York Times has, in its own words, “forcefully” advocated a transgender “crusade,” with former Times editor Andrew Rosenthal calling those who question the transgender movement “ignorant, stupid people.” National Geographic has joined the crusade with an issue dedicated to the emerging “gender revolution.” Doctors, hospitals and many organizations opposing sex reassignment surgery are relentlessly harassed, threatened by the LGBTQ’s, transgender activists and their supporters for human rights violations. 20 states have made it illegal for counselors to say anything to a teen questioning their gender, that would be affirming of their birth gender. If my historical story was taking place today, I have no doubt that I would be pushed to do sex reassignment surgery, just as so many children and teens are today. I hope you are getting a little un-nerved.
WHAT IS MISSING from the transgender movement and from its supporters? SCIENTIFIC FACTS are what’s missing. Teenagers can go to clinics and some doctors, ask for and get prescription puberty blockers and/or opposite gender hormones without any objective scientific tests or process of diagnosis. Tell me what else can you do that for? What would be the procedure for a teen 50 pounds underweight from anorexia? “Heh, Doc. I’m fat and I need something to get some of this weight off.” A doctor complying with that would lose his license. The facts are, the American College of Pediatricians calls the encouragement of teens and younger children toward gender reconstruction surgery “child abuse.”
Psychiatrist Allan Josephson of the Christian Medical and Dental Association, says parenting involves guiding kids in what is true: “Children aren’t sure of much of anything, let alone their identity.” Paul McHugh, professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medicine points out that birth sex is an objective, biological fact — not a perception or feeling. The cases of non-biological sex identity at birth are extremely rare and diagnosis should be on a case-by-case basis.” McHugh further points out the so-called professionals that push to encourage children to change their bodies have “just fallen in love with another cause, but these children are going to be their victims.” The giving of hormones to change the male or female appearance obvious results are, boys grow breasts and females grow facial hair and both alter their voice. The fact is they have to stay on these drugs for life and the drugs are at constant war with the person’s biological genes. Doctors warn of induced sterility, increased risk for heart disease, diabetes and blood clots. Putting a perfectly healthy child or teen on hormone transition drugs and then other drugs to fight the damage being done by those drugs, “FOR LIFE,” is child abuse.
Who do you think is benefitting, the child or some plastic surgeons and Big Pharma? The American College of Pediatricians president said, “You don’t treat mental confusion by putting people, especially children, on toxic hormones and cutting off healthy body parts.” Quentin Van Meter, a pediatric endocrinologist stated, “You’re never changing the sex of a patient,” he says. “Never. Every cell in the body is programed to be male or female.” Despite those objective realities, Van Meter says physicians go along with childrens’ distorted perceptions: “It’s like the Emperor’s New Clothes.”
Now, I hope you have some anger rising.
The OTHER EVIDENCE MISSING from the big push for gender reassignment are the LAMENTS OF INDIVIDUALS THAT NOW SEE THEIR TRANSGENDER EXPERIENCE AS PSYCOLOGICAL AND PHYSICAL MUTILATION. When a person goes through hormone therapy and complete sex reassignment surgery, it is irreversible. The suicide rate becomes 20 times higher than any other people group. After the fact, “transgenders” find they still have their traumatic background and phycological scars. 63% had at least one mental disorder and 33% had major depressive disorders prior to surgery. Altering their outward appearance solved none of the interior problems. Shortly after the surgical process is complete, many are horrified and helpless, calling out for help: “What do I do now? I feel like dying.”
Many reach out to Walt Heyer, a man who lived many years as a surgically-reassigned woman. None of the mental issues he had prior to surgery ended. He now lives his life in re-transition, returning to his male birth biology. Now in his 80s, he still doesn’t have to shave and he will never again have male reproductive anatomy. He is very outspoken in reaching out to help transition seekers take all things into consideration before and help those who are regretting their transition decision. He receives thousands of “heart-wrenching, desperate” emails from people who regret having sex-change surgery. You can read his story and more or contact him at SexChangeRegret.com
Kathy Grace Duncan, by age 16, knew she wanted to be a man. She cut her hair short and wore clothes that passed her for a boy. She loathed everything about being female. She grew up seeing her mother abused by her father and experienced the total lack of any affirmation for even being female. At 19, she moved out and transitioned to being a “man.” She lived many years in this disguise, even serving in an evangelical church as a deacon. She always knew she was running from God. The transition solved nothing and provided nothing. She has transitioned back to her birth gender. Duncan also is very outspoken and speaks to churches and youth camps to bring the truth concerning sex reassignment surgery. You can find her whole story on line.
The sex change regret stories are in the many, many thousands. Organizations are springing up all across the country, made up of people who have come back to their Biblical, God-given identity as a man or as a woman. I have met some of these folks at a national conference my wife and I attended. We sat with them, told our stories to each other and prayed together with former lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders. These transexual men and women have lost their exterior identifying biological body parts, but they and the others, had a deeper understanding of what it is to be a man or a woman, created in the image of God, than anyone I have met. A very enlightening and humbling experience for me and my wife.
I found a note to myself in the papers I have from that event. It read, “Silence is not an option.” I hope your anger calms to a simmer, that your heart is breaking and you find a way to get into the battle, and inform young people of the truth.
There is online Christian Ministry help for all the issues of gender identity, homosexuality, lesbianism, transgenderism and abuse. Help For Families, www.Help4Famities.com This site has pastoral, church leader training and free brochure downloads. Also, Pure Passion Media, www.PurePassionMedia.org — order the documentary, “Tranzformed, Finding Peace With Your God Given Gender.” This is for adult viewing only, in my opinion, as it documents the de-transitioning of many adult men and women, but excellent. American College of Pediatricians, www.ACPeds.org, www.SexChangeRegret.com and www.WaltHeyer.com First Stone Ministries, www.FirstStone.org and www.RestoredHopeNetwork.org There is a new teen documentary film, view friendly and excellent for adult knowledge on the teen transgender push. “Dysconnected, The Real Story Behind the Transgender Explosion,” available at www.DysconnectedMovie.com
Church leaders should arm themselves with information from these sources and train their congregations in Biblical and scientific answers to help people who are struggling from abuse, misinformation, the lies of activists and ultimately stand firm in the battle against Satan and his demons who are intent on destroying lives through this confusion.
CHRISTIANS HAVE AN URGENT TASK: be prepared to speak Biblical truth, and be prepared to offer Biblical help. Heath Lambert, executive director of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, says this begins with recognizing the agony some people face. “This is real pain,” he says. “It’s a lot of tears on a lot of pillows on a lot of nights.”
I appeal to you, please recognize that everyone with sexual confusion and gender identity disorder runs a likely, 100% chance they have some kind of abuse in their background. Loving, kind sensitivity must be demonstrated. The abuse has caused a lack of trust and an abused person is not going to share all just because you ask them to. Trust will have to be demonstrated over time and won by the love, concern and confidence (anonymity) you demonstrate. Can we give the time for tears, many times, for many days? There is no quick fix, no magic wand.
I kept my childhood abuses secret until I was 38 years old, until the secrets were destroying my life. Most abuse victims believe the abuse was somehow their fault and have a deep sense of guilt and shame. Be prepared, their abuse could have come from a brother (physical) or a highly respected, next-door neighbor, (sexual) as it was in my case. Abuse from parents, family members, close relatives or someone the family knows is common. These are people that it is hard to tell on. In some cases, the victim has been threatened with more abuse if they tell. Abuse from the internet is widespread. Who did the abuse is not important, unless it is still ongoing. If it is, you must take steps to get them to a safe place. Work toward building trust that allows the victim to fall into your arms, cry, have you hear and experience their pain with compassion and non-judgment; this is most important.
When that trust is established and the pain is known, lead them to Jesus Christ who, all to well, understands abuse and pain. He knows their pain and is the source of help and healing. He knows them personally, He knows their name and innermost identity and will lead them into an understanding of who they are, one step, one day at a time. Arm them with the Scriptures to back these claims up. Write them down. Every time they doubt, they can read them. Let them see you, be vulnerable. What sin(s) is it that brought you to the cross and you laid upon the bleeding body of Christ? Go with them to that place and share in that atonement with them. Don’t come from a place above them but rather alongside of them. God be with us all in this endeavor.
Lynn Fredrick is the author of “Stand Firm,” a short book on using the divine power of God to transform your life.